Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Turn and face the Strange
Ch-Ch-Changes

Thank you David Bowie.

Anyway... back to the blog.

I dedicate this post to you, Mom. I wish I could see your face for the shock-factor...

Here are a few little things that I've changed over the past year:


I make my bed every day.

NEVER happened until about 1 year ago. Lazy? Probably.

I think I can pin this new, bed-making development on the spider-infested house I used to live in. My thought process probably went something like this: "if I make my bed, spiders wont be able to get into my sheets!"

New house and I'm still making my bed. Habits are hard to break, good or bad.

I floss my teeth every day.

NEVER happened until about a year ago. I think I can trace that back to my decision to make my dental hygienist proud. Don't you feel guilty everytime your hygienist asks "now...how often do you floss?"

I'm in a bookclub!

I've always loved to read, but being in a book club is great. I've read a few books that I never would have read otherwise, one of them being "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society.' The name itself probably would have thrown me off - it sounds weird. Not to mention that the book is written in letter format. Not my usual cup of tea.

But, If you're looking for a new book to read, I highly recommend it!

I love mushrooms!

Growing up I absolutely hated cooked mushrooms. I don't blame myself - they do look pretty gross. But for some reason I can now look past their outward appearance and eat them by cartfulls. Just kidding, not cartfulls. But enough to get my fill of whatever vitamin they have to offer.

BUT, there are still a few things I need to work on.

Not sure if these things will EVER happen, but here's hoping:

I hate onions with a passion.

Onions make me gag. Please dont give me food with onions. Sick. Perhaps someday I'll be able to eat them...? But don't count on it.


I hate Peppers.
I wish I liked them. But I dont.

But hey, we can't win every battle - right? This is coming from a girl that was so picky growing up I would only eat breakfast foods. I've come a long way!

Paradise

T-minus 29 days until I get to see this:

Palm Trees + Warm Weather = One Happy Berkley Girl

Top 10 Reasons Why the Ke$ha Concert was the Worst Night of My Life

I went with my sister Moriah and roommate Kelsey to a Ke$ha concert this past weekend. People keep asking me why it was so horrible, so I decided to post a 'Top 10 Countdown List' (David Letterman style) that I wrote Saturday morning.

Here it goes:

10. The swearing. The audience, Ke$ha's opening act, and Ke$ha all swore like a sailor. Pretty sure I heard the F word more times in one night than I have since high school. And, it's been a while since high school. And no, in case you're wondering, swearing does not make you cool. It increases your level of trailer trashness by about 500%.

9. Ke$ha's skit. She asked for a guy out of the audience, tied him to a chair... and yadda yadda yadda I am now scarred for life (and no, I will not provide details).

8. The amount of high schoolers at the concert. I usually love going to concerts, but I felt 10 years too old to be there. The Ke$ha concert may or may not be my last pit concert. I love concerts, but I think I'll only go now if I have a seat (for my reasons, see numbers 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, and 2 below).

7. The haze in the air. Not sure if somebody snuck weed into the concert, but we left reeking like weed. This morning I woke up, left my room, came back into my room, and almost had to leave again because my room reeked like weed so badly. Now I am doing laundry.

6. The drunk dude that was looking for a 'girlfriend' (and yes he said he was looking for a girlfriend). Within about 10 miunutes of arriving at the concert, a drunk dude found his way to our corner and started hitting on every single girl within a 3 feet area (if you're thinking 'hmm that's not very big' then see 5 and 4 below). He first hit on a cute little blonde girl in front of us. Then, he hit on Moriah. Then, he hit on me. Thank you Moriah for literally pushing him away.

5. The pushing. When I was younger I loved being at the front of concerts and would force my way towards the front. Or, I would even stand in the middle of the pit and not mind the pushing. Now, I can't handle it. We found a good area near the front 1/4 of the concert hall and thought we would be okay - and we were for the most part (see number 2). But, this was one of the worst pit concerts I've ever seen. Kelsey tried to keep track and lost track after about 35... 35 being the number of girls that fainted and had to be lifted out of the pit.

4. The sweaty people. I must admit, there's not too many things worse in life than being crammed against strangers and having a big sweaty person cramming their way through your area, rubbing their dripping, sweaty, nasty body against you as they pass. And yes, once they passed, I rubbed the nastiness that was left on my arms on the person in front of me. Who wouldn't? I'm sure the people behind me did the same thing to me.

3. The amount of drunk/high people at the concert. I'm fairly certain there may have been a total of 5 people at the concert who weren't intoxicated/high --which includes me, Kelsey, and Moriah in that number. You know those scary zombie movies where the good guys are trying to get to a certain location and run into another group of humans along their journey? And the good guys start talking to the new strangers only to find out (and with scary movie music starting in the background) that those humans are indeed zombies and they have to run away? Well, that's what I felt like at the concert. I tried to warn a few cute little girls that they shouldn't force their way into the pit because about 35 girls had fainted, but one just looked at me, smiled really big, said something like "I'm SOooo HIGHHHH!" (with the F word thrown in) and shoved past. Last time I try to help a little girl.

2. The gay corner we were in. Somehow we were surrounded by gay couples, gay 4-somes, and gay people in general. You know, I'm fine with gay people - I have gay friends. BUT, I am NOT okay with gay PDA (I don't even like hetero couple PDA at concerts). This particular group of 4 gay guys was standing right in front of us --making out, groping one another, and dancing like they were exotic dancers. And, no, they didn't have a particular partner. They made out with the closest gay guy available. Scarred for life. Again.

1. Beardo the weirdo trailer park hero. Ke$ha's opening act was the worst act I've witnessed in my life and I've been to quite a few concerts. He was white, looked 45, had a fro mullet, wore hot pink spandex pants, an 80's tank top, didn't have any semblance of being attractive (yes, I tried to look for anything good) and quite possibly sang the worst music I've ever heard, not to mention he said the F word every other sentence. He was so awful that I even tried plugging my ears... but the music was so loud it didn't work. My mouth was open in shock for about 95% of his set, wondering how he even booked this gig wtih Ke$ha, the other 5% was open in disgust.

**post edit note**

I forgot about one thing that made the concert slightly enjoyable. Ke$ha's 'slave' was SANTA!!! Yes, she had a jolly old man dressed up in a Santa suit answering to her every beck and call.

Two of my favorite phrases from the night were:

"SANTA bring me a beer!!"

Or

"SANTA I need a chair!!"

Maybe it's just me, but I thought it was hilarious...

Miracles...

So amazing.

The Next Beethoven?

My nephew Carter is only 6 months old and already playing hymns. SUCH a spiritual baby!

haha, just kiddin... he sure liked banging on the keys, though!

Spider Bait Berkley

I won't deny it - I think they're out to get me. No, I'm not like Hodgins from Bones - I'm not usually a conspiracy theorist. But, I do believe I've accidentally irked the Spider species. There is no other explanation for the multiple times I've had to recently defend my life with a shoe.

You may think I'm exaggerating, but there have been too many instances where spiders have actually run TOWARDS me in my bedroom. I used to squeal like a little girl when I saw them coming at me, but I've become a cold-hearted, wizened, spider killer - quite methodical, actually: grab shoe, smash the beast. My Mom would be so proud. The only thing I need to work on to complete my hardened exterior is the task of disposing. I still gag when I hear them clunk into the spider cans, aka trash cans...

I thought I'd throw in a few good stories just to show what I mean when I say "I think they're out to get me:"

A few weeks ago I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom, blow drying my hair, when a huge spider literally RUNS at me. I yelp, drop my blow dryer, grab a shoe and kill the thing. One less spider in the world. Check.

About a week ago I was in my room, standing by my bed, when I see another spider running at me from across my bedroom floor. Honestly? Does it really think it stands a chance? Shoe. Smash. Check.

Saturday I was sitting on the floor in our living room, eating some food... when out of the corner of my eye I see a spider running at me. Again. It stops about a foot from my leg. I stayed put so I wouldn't scare the spider away and my roommate Kelsey grabbed a shoe and killed it. BOOM. Tag team. Bet it didn't see that one coming. After the kill she said "that spider was HUGE!!" And I was like "yeah, that's the kind I have in my room." No big deal... and I finished eating.

Oh, life... but seriously. What's up with these spiders? Did they get into a toxic chemical, reworking their genetic make-up, causing them to charge at humans? In my previous experiences with spiders they usually run away from people. Not towards.

Ah, well, makes for interesting stories. Right?

Ode to Kirilenko

Turns out there are more things than freezing weather, figure skating, and gymnastics in Russia.

Meet Andrei Kirilenko:

What in the world did they feed the Andrei tyke to make him grow so tall? I'm thinking it was probably:

Kartofel. Which, if you don't know, is potatoes in Russian. Enough Kartofel for 6'9" lads.
I'm sure he was happy at 18 to go play for the Jazz. Because, as you know, he's really good at
Rebounds, making free-throws and stuff. He even has skater boy long hair- that's so tough. He might wash
It with Clairol Herbal Essence shampoo. But, wait, that's the kind that I use. And yet my blonde
Locks are nowhere near as silky as his bob with bangs. Some people may
Enjoy laughing at it, but I like the way it hangs. I think his cut is more for a technical purpose,
Not style. If he didn't have bangs, his long hair would get in his face once in a while.
Kudos to him for daring to be different! And his non-tattooed arms would make any Mom proud. For when he's an
Old timer his arm tats won't be shriveled like a cloud.

The End.

Umbrella-ella-ella

Don't worry; I'm not going to be singing Rihanna's Umbrella song... although, it is pretty good. Well, was pretty good. 3 years ago.

Anyway, this morning as I was driving to work it was pouring out. I'm not complaining, I don't mind rain if it's temporary -- although, I don't think I've known anything besides temporary rain.
As I got closer to temple square and the parking garage, I noticed an odd occurrence. I first noticed a lady in a pink dress with a perfectly matched pink umbrella (who wouldn't notice that?). I thought to myself, 'hmm that's weird, I wonder if she did that on purpose?' Then, I noticed another lady walking across a cross walk. Her umbrella was green. Her skirt was green. They matched perfectly. What in the world? I was intrigued. Then, my mind wandered to an old roommate who had the misfortune of walking across the U campus with a BYU umbrella. But, that's a different story completely...

The question of the day is this: Did the two ladies with the matchy-accessorized umbrellas do it on purpose? Or, did they accidentally match? Do they have a closet at home FULL of umbrellas to accessorize their outfits with by chance a rainy day comes along? You know, I'm just a Montana girl. I have 1 umbrella in my possession. It's blue. But, it's because blue is my favorite color. And my Mom gave it to me (bless you, Mom).

So, who knows, maybe there's a fashion niche just for umbrellas... that I've never even thought about. Or dreamed about. Or cared about. Or will ever care about.

Which comes to my next random thought (I've been having quite a few of these lately)... what things do we do, innocently enough, that might cause other people to write about on their blog? hmm...

Think about it. But you don't have to take my word for it (thank you, LeVar Burton).

Carter...

I thought I would show a picture of the cutest nephew in the world. No contest:

Oh, and I do recognize that I haven't updated my blog in a long time... I'll work on that.

PEACE.

Come on out Baby

We're just waiting impatiently for lil Carter to come into the world! ANY DAY NOW... I know Alyssa's tummy is probably all nice and warm and comfortable and stuff. But seriously. We want to meet you!!! And I want to be an aunt! :)

And another one bites the dust

My sister Jasper is getting married! July 24th is the big day. Welcome to the family Allen Peterson!

Here they are with our infamous Grammer :)